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What I do when I get nasty comments from haters



Hello people! My schedule is really packed these days as I have several video assignments to complete! Luckily, everything is coming to an end soon and I can eventually mark a huge full-stop on the assignments!

Well, my team members and I have recently done a research on cyber-bullying cases which happened on Facebook. It's really saddening when we discovered that a number of teenagers were actually pushed over the brink of hopes and committed suicide, all thanks to the abusive, harassing and disturbing messages they received on Facebook. Doesn't it stir a curiosity in your mind, as of what nasty comments could those nasty people sent them? As much as it is possible that the teens who have committed suicide were overly emotionally-driven, I really can't figure how much pain they have bore nor can I feel how deeply those comments have scarred their life. But there's one thing that I certainly know: it feels terrible to receive such obnoxious comments.

I am pretty sure that everyone knows the feeling of being criticized. It sucks. But still, I have no idea why people have to be so mean to leave impolite and offensive comments to just somebody out there. Why wouldn't they care about people's feelings? Why do they insist that they are completely right while what they are doing is really rude in the first place?



Ask yourself how would you feel if you are, unfortunately, the one who gets abusive and negative comments.

Some of my readers actually asked me on how I deal with the negative comments I have received from some completely random people. While they're interested to know, I think I ought to blog about it here and share my experience with all of you! :)

I hate receiving haters' comments, I mean, who loves being criticized after all? However, I personally think haters are doing themselves a disservice - they are only wasting their own time. I will never publish these comments on my blog, nor reply to any of them. (Please do not assume that I am a coward who runs away from my haters, just keep reading!) I mean, if you are to say that you have your rights to leave this kind of comments because it's your freedom of speech or whatsoever; well, then it's also my absolute right to do whatever I want to those comments, right?

Sometimes, it's pretty hard for me to distinguish between constructive criticism and meaningless rubbish out of a jumble of words made up of pure hatred. I mean, if you would like to give me some honest opinions, feel free! The point is, I would only be able to bring myself to truly appreciate it if you would build your sentence with respectful choice of words. To be honest, I am pretty excited when it comes to reading constructive suggestions or opinions written by readers. They always give me new insightful thoughts and constantly remind me that I have to keep improving myself! :)

Example of destructive comment: 
"WTF YOU LOOK HORRIBLE WITH HEAVY MAKEUP"

Example of constructive comment: 
"Ah, I think you should improve on drawing your eyeshadow! It would be better if you.....*continue with your suggestion*"

See the difference? If you were to be me, which kind of comments would you prefer more?

Obviously enough, I would prefer the constructive one. I am told of where I should improve on, and I have a clear idea on what I should look into. Instead of telling me that I look ugly with makeup, why not give me some useful suggestions? I never once claimed that I am good in putting on makeup so I definitely need more practices and suggestions on how to improve myself, am I right?

However, if you really, really insist in leaving offensive comments on my blog, I have nothing much else to say to you, other than "Stop wasting your precious time, my dear."

Some people actually encouraged me to retaliate or defend myself against negative comments, but I personally think that replying them is just not going to work. Why?

Let the catchy phrase bring us this old, but gold, reminder - "Haters gonna hate."



I mean, if they already decided to hate me out of things that make no sense at all, then why should I spend my time making sense with them, since they would never get me at all anyway? 

Well even if I go out of my ways and start explaining, how likely is it for them actually stop and reflect for the things they have said? It's sad but no, definitely no chance at all.

"Don't bother explaining yourself to people who hate you because they are never bothered. They don't care."  I think it's pretty true, isn't it? People who love me will never need my explanations because they already know me to the bones, which is why they love me in the very first place.

People hate you because they are either jealous of you and your success, or they hate you because they simply don't think you deserved the things they see that you have, but they don't.

I actually received some negative comments on my post regarding the Laneige's "Beauty Blogger Competition", which required participants to wear a natural and a contrasting heavy makeup. A few days after my blogpost was published, some new (I assumed that they are new to my blog) readers tell me that I look horrible with heavy makeup / I look as if I am trying to act mature by applying heavy makeup, etc.



Um, hello? I suppose you are completely new to my blog?

I am pretty sure that my loyal readers who have been reading my blog from the very beginning, know very well that I am the kind of girl who doesn't apply heavy makeup, not even when I hang out. I personally think that heavy makeup isn't my thing; I think I look weird with it haha!!

And for those who leave such comments (the one I mentioned above), I am also pretty sure that you are new to my blog and you probably did not know that I was actually doing the heavy makeup for a competition. OK, I won't blame you. But since you say I look horrible with makeup, then I will just assume that what you said also suggests that I look good in natural makeup lololol. You can consider it my optimistic mindset LOL but sometimes I really think that such comments do not worth my anger and time at all.

Oh, I usually do not retaliate to such unpleasant comments. I do not want to give them the satisfaction and attention they wanted. I am sorry that I have completely no time to deal with your impoliteness because I definitely need more time to love and care for the ones who love me. Well, you may make the first attempt, or even the second and third of leaving negative comments on my blog but however hard you may try, I will never entertain them! The key point here is that we should never react to such comments and never render the pleasure and attention they wanted from you. They will eventually get bored of themselves and will only end up feeling like a fool making comments that nobody will ever reply to. *giggles*

Okay, let's move on to another reason why I ignore rude comments!

It's very simple. Anyway, what can be a better reason than not wanting to bring myself down to their level? 

If you chose to be impolite; if you chose to sound so barbarous; just go ahead but rest assured, I will never join your party. :P


Yay!! I am grateful that I am nothing like them!! :P

Anyway, I am a human being too; and as much as everyone has their own emotions, I have mine too. I would probably be lying to claim that I feel completely indifferent upon receiving negative comments. To be honest, I always vent my feelings out to Teddy's ears but every time, Teddy will ask me the same question: "Do you think what they said is true?"

Therefore, I would stop complaining.

I would pause, and I would start to think.

And I believe that the motive of him asking me this question is not to obtain my answer: he simply wants me to answer it for myself.

If I think that what they said is actually true, then I would have to reflect and make respective improvements.
But if I think what they said is utterly nonsensical, I shall just care less, move my fingers to the "delete button", and *click*.

However, it's always easier said than done: it is extremely natural that people always tend to feel angry, emotional or even depressed because they feel that they are hurt or insulted. It's pretty ironic that negative comments will always make much greater an impact on people way much more than the positive ones.

I hate it a lot when I allowed depression plunge myself into darkness, simply because of the few negative comments I received a few years back. Do you understand the feeling whereby your mind will constantly remind you of the negative comments you have read in your blog? And it feels even more terrible when all the negative comments just seem to be so capable of disturbing your inner-peace and lowering your self-esteem. At some point of life, I just hate it when I allowed those cruel little groups of alphabets haunt my soul and commandeer my mind.

After several years of blogging, I have come to realize that you can never please everyone in this judgmental world. No matter what you do, there will be some people who criticize you for something you have not done wrong, and these people can just pop out of nowhere. Haters are just that cute, aren't they? They seem to strive so hard just to find that one thing which they think would hurt you enough.


Don't ever let anyone else bring you down, define who you are and tell you what you should and should not do. You are the master of your happiness, and the decision of keeping them can only come from yourself.

Most importantly, do what you think is right.

Not forgetting to mention, always be appreciative to people who treat you well! For all those who gossip a lot about me, thanks for celebrating me in your life! At the very least, I know I have made some impact on your life lollll. :P

Never ever let anyone take away your happiness.
Your happiness belongs to only yourself, and no one else. 


13 comments

  1. Well even there are people out there hate you but don't forget YOU REALLY DID INSPIRE SOME GIRLS OUT THERE. :) Like your optimistic btw.Continue.to be awesome !

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  2. No Jessica I like the way you blog and your personality is just simply bubbly! keep up for all the good work. X

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  3. I find 100000000 reason to like you and 0 reason to hate you.

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  4. You are awesome in everything and I love your styles :D
    Ignored is correct , just do yourself , we love your styles :)

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  5. Seem like blogging can make one's grow up! Good work Jessica! Looking forward to your OOTD post. I love them a lot ><

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  6. This post is awesome Jes. Keep being who you are X always a reader of yours.

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