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Types of friends that you should avoid



Recently, some of my friends have been telling me stories of their friendship issues and I can also pretty much relate the issues to myself. Hence, I feel inspired to write about "Friendship" today! 

Friends are the people who can either shape you, break you; or even both. 

Everyone needs friends in their life. You go to school, you make friends. It's impossible for you to sit alone at a corner throughout your semester, studying and writing and doing assignments all alone. 

Making more and more friends as you grow up, you need to be aware that not every friend that you make may be worth keeping. Are they helping you to become a better person, or are they actually soaking you in a pool of bad influences, thus bringing down the better you? 

Disclaimer:
I am not pinpointing anyone in particular in whatever event/action mentioned within the bounds of this post. Shall any event/action be subjectively deemed as being "very similar" to your personal encounter, it may only be of mere coincidence.

Actually I have been thinking whether it is a good idea to bring this issue up for open discussion on my blog. I absolutely abhor misunderstandings, and I most certainly do not wish that my post will invite me into the entanglement of any. That is the main reason why I've kept words unsaid in my heart a long time ago. However, these thoughts have been haunting me for months, urging me to let them out. Maybe it's best that I shall share them with all of you here.

However, the body of the text will be built on the foundations of my personal experiences and opinions. I am NOT, in any way, trying to imply that I am in the rightful position or qualification to give advice. In fact, I think that I am never good enough for every friend of mine, I gotta admit that. Thus, this post will also serve as a reminder for myself, that I must steer clear from being the type of friend that people would hate and, in time, part with.

I hope everyone is ready to continue reading with an open mind. Once again, this post is not written in correspondence to anyone!

***

In life, you'll meet people of many different kinds. Growing up, meeting new people is always wonderful: it gently opens up the windows to my soul. The fact that I actually have a number of friends from various walks of life can never fail to amaze me to great extents.

I may seem to know a lot of people or have a lot of friends. 

Um, wait, how many friends do I have in Facebook again? Lemme check. 

Oh, so I actually have more than 2000 friends in Facebook, excluding the people who have sent me friend requests but got rejected. I am sorry, but I only accept friend requests from the people I have met, or known in real life. 

Of course, I am not stating the number to brag about the pile of friends that I have in Facebook (2000 isn't a great figure in the Facebook world anyway). In fact, the number stated is used to contrast a fact you may never have imagined to be true.

Although I have more than 2000 friends in Facebook, there are basically less than 10 people that I can really talk to. Pathetic, isn't it? 

Making friends is easy, but crossing paths with a true-hearted friend is probably just as hard as finding the tiny needle you dropped into the ocean. (well, maybe it's just me, who knows?)

There are the types of people that you should be wary of in life: 

1) People who are autocratic 


People who play kings/queens among their group of friends. Such people would usually make the call for the entire group on almost everything, without seeing the necessity to ask for opinions. They often refuse to listen to anyone, yet they want everyone to listen to them. They always believe, and insist that they are right. What's worse, it would be a miracle for them to value or respect your opinions.  

2) People who want you only when they need you..


...but leave you when they don't need you anymore. This type of people are experts in taking advantage of your kindness. They will only call you up or approach you in person whenever they need a favour from you. And what happens after their objective is accomplished? There marks the end of your value, so bye-bye, and see you again (when they need you again!!) Then what happens when you are in trouble? These people will be the first to flee and leave you stranded in your frustration.

3) People who make you feel inferior 


People like these steps all over you, rendering you a much lower "rank" in the "hierarchy." They will make you feel that they are better than you in every way. They make you feel powerless, inadequate and weak, as if you are totally unworthy of anything at all. You often feel the pressurizing necessity to do something "cool" or say something witty to impress them. As you instinctively compare yourself with people like them, you eventually feel tired and weary. Real friends are not supposed to make you feel all that. Real friends make you feel feel belonged, and discrimination will be the last thing you will ever feel.

4) People who refuse to forgive 


We are all human beings, and it is utterly natural that we will occasionally make mistakes. However, not everyone has the courage to own up to a fault, let alone apologizing. It takes a lot of courage for one to admit having made a mistake. A lot of people prefer to make excuses in their own defense, and that's absolutely unforgivable. But if a person has the guts to admit his fault and promise to change, then why not give him a second chance? Like I said, everyone makes mistakes, and I personally feel that everyone deserves a second chance. If you have sincerely apologised and yet, your friend still refuses to forgive you... well, maybe you hurt him too badly? Maybe it's just your poor luck that your friend isn't as forgiving as you wish he/she can be? Or maybe this person had never really treated you as his friend at all? Nobody can tell; but what is for sure is that you must apologise. Sometimes, you may also find the unforgiving to be sadistically unfathomable: it seems like the more you apologise and try to make up for your mistake, the more superior they would feel. It simply makes no sense to be the only one trying to keep the precious friendship alive. Maybe you should just stop feeling apologetic, and strut on. 

5) People who count on you to make plans, but...


...ALWAYS claim that they are busy when you ask them out. This irritates me so much. When you don't take the initiative to make plans, people say that you dumped your old friends because you moved on to a new bunch of friends. BUT, when you make the move to ask them out, they will all give you a cold shoulder by cooking up excuses, telling you that they are so occupied that they can't afford to go out, or something of that sort. In the end, you discover that they were actually hanging out with their other friends the other day. So, are they REALLY that busy or are they just finding excuses not to hang out with you? Nope, it isn't a question at all.

6) People who cannot be genuinely happy for you


A trait of a true friend is that he will find happiness in your happiness. A true friend celebrates your success with pure happiness. I believe one of the biggest dynamics that can sabotage a friendship is jealousy. It irritates the friends who get jealous easily the most when they see you are getting better than them, for example excelling in your studies, getting promotion in a job, etc. Slowly but surely, you will realise that it is impossible to share your happiness with each and every single one of your friends because some of them might not like it or accept it. Some friends might be slightly sensitive so you will need to learn how to share your happiness without making others feel inferior by choosing the right words. You'll have to make sure that you're sharing your happiness with others without any intention to brag. 

7) People who act as if they like you, but stabs you in the back


No matter how much you wish to avoid, there are always adept masters of the art of backstabbing. They pretend to be nice to you, fake being on the same side where you are, but turn their backs on you as long as you're not around. True friends never do that. They don't go around badmouthing about you when you are absent.

8) People of bad influence 


Such friends tend to encourage you to do something (morally incorrect, of course) you never felt comfortable doing. Instead of giving you a positive influence, they indoctrinate their bad habits to you (and often claim that what they do is cool). It's extremely important to identify the right type of friends to make acquaintance with in life. For instance, in secondary school, you have all the freedom to choose what kind of friends you want to mingle with: the kind of friends who motivate you to study harder and get better grades OR the kind of friends who make you feel unproductive, lazy and ignorant toward academic commitments. It all depends on what kind of person you want to be. If you want to be a better person, mix with the ones who keep you on the right track.

Life is too short to spend your time with people who don't make you happy. Therefore, choose your friends carefully and always make sure that the friends you make are the ones who can make your life happier and better! 

Good luck bunnies!  

P.S. Feel free to comment and tell me what types of friends you particularly find it hard to deal with! :) 

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