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How my life has changed in 2014

2014 is going to end soon.

Honestly, I feel that this year has gone by in the quickest of flashes. 

This year has been so far the best and the worst years in my entire life.

It's like a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, and even twists. 

I would say that this is the best year of all, mainly because I was opened up to so many opportunities, which I really appreciate a lot. It's exhilarating to be able to work with so many different brands this year and I can't be more thankful for all the kind people who worked with me this year. Thank you for colouring up my monotonous blogging journey.

Travelled to Nagoya, Japan! 
Hong Kong Disneyland! 

Also, I got to travel twice this year. TWICE. I used to be able to travel only once every four year but this year made an exceptional case. I had the pleasure of travelling to Hong Kong last August. Other than the Disneyland-dream-come-true, what I treasure the most is the time spent with my family. Words are too petty to aptly describe how happy I was during the trip. 

Besides H.K, I also traveled to Nagoya, Japan. Never have I thought or imagined that I would be sponsored to visit my dream country. I didn't see all these coming when I started blogging, never. I never believed that I can be anywhere close to being this lucky. Thank you Nuffnang!!! Nagoya was awesome, and I would really love to pay another visit soon, maybe Tokyo this time. Hopefully, my hunt for cheap flight tickets will be successful.


My latest video!! :) 

Next to my blogging career, I have also stepped out of my comfort zone and tried something different, which is making Youtube videos!! Ok la, it's nothing big actually, not that I'm making videos to earn a living. I decided to start up my very own Youtube channel, mainly focusing on fashion, because I want to venture and learn something new, such as how to pose naturally or speak naturally in front of the camera (still learning now because I admit it's pretty hard for me to be truly myself in front of the camera lol). To my surprise, my channel has hit 500 subscribers by the end of December and I'm ecstatic about it. Of course, the amount of my subscribers would mean nothing as compared to many other established Youtubers out there. But, 500 subscribers mean a lot to me so thank you!!! 

Apart from being a part-time blogger, I managed to secure a Continuing Merit Scholarship in university, which grants me a partial fee-waiver every year in Taylor's. I'm so glad that i got it, it means more than just money to me. It proved that my previous hard work has been truly paid off, and now I'm even more motivated to step up my game in my studies. 

At this moment, you must be thinking that I'm such a lucky girl, living happily in a fairy tale, needless to worry about a single thing. 

Yes, I do admit that I'm pretty lucky, but my life is not a bowl of cherries. Okay wait, perhaps my life is a bowl of cherries, but not all cherries are red and shiny. Some of them can be pretty rotten.

I believe that life is fair. 

While you get something you want, you lose something else at the same time. You can never have everything in the world, can you? 

And in my case, it seems that I can have the ability to buy the clothes I want, pay for the food I enjoy, travel to my dream countries and so on, but sometimes I still feel empty inside, you know? 


From another perspective, 2014 can also a bad year due to all the conflicts and problems I encountered in friendship. I'm not sure what kind of friend I am to people, but I think I can be a little too clingy at times. And also, I do have high expectations on people. It's like when I treat you well, I expect you to treat me well too. If I treat you as my good friend, I do expect you to see me as your good friend in return.

 Very often, these disillusioned expectations kill me. I often ask my close friends what they think of me because I want them to help me improve, to be a better friend to them. I reflect every time I get an opinion about me from my close friends. I have flaws, everyone does. I acknowledge my flaws, and am willing to change and improve. I am afraid of losing friends, losing people in my life. I fear oblivion. I fear that one day, nobody would even notice my existence, even when it ceases. This is due to the one flaw that I should confront and change - that sometimes my happiness is dependent on others - and if someone important to me has to walk away from my life, I might just crash and get destructed altogether.

Many times, I try to convince myself that if I change, people would change how they think of me, and maybe they will start to like me. That's the thing about me: Sometimes, I care too much about what people think about me, because I get pressurised when people dislike me. I want to find out about the problem that lies beneath the distance they draw. I feel the need to explain for myself, if I am right at all. I can't just defiantly ignore people who dislike me. I just might end up being all alone.

I want to do something about it, and hence change people's perceptions about me. But I tried. I tried to change and be nice to them with all my heart - but what I get in return is betrayal and gossips behind my back. With a mocking chain of hysterical laughter, an evil force slapped me in the face. The ache throbbed in my heart. I changed, and why are things still not okay?

 People tell me that I should care less about those who don't care about me. I should have opened my eyes wide enough to see the ones who are worthy of my time and kindness. There is this bunch of people who will just take you for granted even you are kind to them - but you will still give in regardless, you will still play along, no matter how sore and tired you feel deep within. It is your kindness that enfeebles you, makes you vulnerable, almost like a little puppy beseeching for attention.

However, I'm so lucky to have Teddy with me, all the time. He's the greatest gift God has ever sent to me. He's always there for me, even during the hardest times, even when I pushed him away. He's always ready to listen to my rants, follow up by giving me his opinions and advices. He is someone whom I can confide to, always.

I tend to jump into a conclusion pretty quickly sometimes. I make assumptions too easily, and it always leads me to worrying about a lot of things, which I clearly never needed.
Teddy would always tell me to not only give people a chance, but to also give myself a chance. When things do not go our way, it doesn't always mean that it is bad. In fact, it is a reminder, an opportunity for us to take a break and reflect, and learn how to adapt to things when life does not play out the way we expected it to.

One thing I learned from Teddy is the importance of giving the "benefit of the doubt" to people, before things are made clear of and the truth revealed. Most of the time, we believe in the accuracy and wisdom of our judgement, but we tend to forget that what we believe to be so right can actually turn out to be absolutely wrong. If we assume too quickly, it becomes unfair for the ones who not even have the chance to speak for themselves, to maybe prove our assumptions wrong.

Despite all the setbacks and hardships, I would conclude that 2014 isn't a bad year for me after all. Looking back, I would say that there had been still things, be it big or small, that infused joy into my days most of the time.


I would like to thank everyone who came into my life this year, regardless whether you stayed up to this point of time. For those who stay, thanks for being here with me (you guys know who you are!!) and thanks for painting my life with colours which warm my heart better than any fireplace I've been near to. For those who chose to leave, I still thank you for the happy moments we once had together, I've tried to mend the fences but to no avail, but I believe that things will always turn out the way they are fated to be. While we may not be sharing the same vision at this stage of life, I wish you all the best for treading the path you have chosen.

There's still so much for me to learn about life and people, and I regard myself as a humble apostate of life. We are all busy growing up, learning new things every day. Come good or bad days, let's strive to try not to fix life, but instead learn to revise our perspective, then maybe take up a new direction, and move on with life.

I'm ready for 2015, are you? 

P.S. My heart goes all out to all the flood victims and also victims, friends and relatives of the missing aircraft QZ8501. Let's all pray for the victims and their families. 


2 comments

  1. holaaa! Happy new year! stay strong! you can make it through. sometimes expect less is good too, cause i feel that expecting more will only increase the possibilities of making myself feeling upset. as long as you try your best will do! Jia you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Had been following you on insta Never know that you are so good at blogging - the way you expressing through words and your attitude towards life. I'm real impressed. Will start reading your blog from now on. �� happy new year sweetie !

    ReplyDelete

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