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CURB YOUR JEALOUSY



You are green with envy. 

You feel the jealousy and resentment building up in you and you can't seem to control it. 

You feel envious of people who can afford nicer possessions than you can.

You think you deserve more recognition for your accomplishments than what you actually received. 

You feel repugnant, rather than happy, when you see people who do better and get more successful than you.

You secretly feel joyful when someone encounters problems or mishaps.

Do any of these statements ring a bell to you?

Fleeting and occasional jealousy is normal, but when jealousy rolls into a snowball of resentment, it's unhealthy. Being jealous and being resentful are actually quite different and apart from each other.

While jealousy can be described as "I want what you have", resentment over someone's success goes beyond: "I want what you have, but I don't want you to have it."

Sounds obnoxious, doesn't it?

Well, to be honest, sometimes I do have the feeling of resentment over someone else unconsciously. I am opening up and sharing my personal experiences with y'all now because I sincerely hope that we all realise how resentment can negatively affect you as a person.

Being in such a competitive industry, trying to survive and stand out from the rest is definitely not easy. As much as I keep reminding myself not to compare with the rest, and as much as I keep telling myself to be grateful for what I have now, sometimes I just can't help but compare my own achievements with other people who are more successful...

Sometimes the resentment in me just corroded me to the point that it interferes my mood when I see someone who achieves more than me...then I will be ranting and saying things like "Why her but not me? She totally did not deserve it."

One day, I was talking to Teddy and complaining to him about how life is unfair and how someone doesn't deserve what she got, and so on. He told me that he was very sad to hear that. No, he was sad not because he thinks that I deserved more; he was sad because I was actually bashing people's achievements like a loser just because I, myself wasn't capable of achieving it.

Then, he asked me:
So, do you think that each and everything you have got now is what you deserve? 

I thought I was going to say a firm 'yes' right after he asked me the question. But my mind held my words back...I kept my mouth shut, and began to ponder.

I did work hard to become who I am today, but I also cannot deny the fact that there are also many people out there who are even working harder than me (yet still being unable to get themselves the opportunities they deserve).

Then, shouldn't I feel contented and grateful for everything I have now instead of acting like an outright loser who harps negatively on other's achievements?

After my conversation with Teddy, I felt really bad for the negative thoughts I used to have towards people who are more successful than me.

Sharing based on my own experiences, resentment can really consume your life if you don't deal with it:

You'll lose focus on your own path to success.
The more time you spend on resenting someone else's achievements, the less time you have to work on your own goals. Your antipathy over someone else's achievements will not help you to climb the ladder of success, but it only serves as a distraction that will slow you down, sometimes even to a complete halt. Also, you easily overlook or give up on your own talents and what you are truly good in doing, because you are too busy trying to imitate what others do so that you can also be as "successful" as they are.

You may abandon your own values.
As you feel desperate to be like those people who have the things you don't, you will start doing things and behave in a manner that you normally wouldn't, such as sabotaging someone else's effort by spreading rumours about him/her, taking obscene pictures of yourself just to gain more attention, etc. 

You'll lose friends in life.
When you resent someone, it's very likely that you wouldn't be able to maintain a healthy relationship with him/her. You wouldn't be able to have a genuine friendship with someone whom you are holding grudges against. Not only will you damage your friendship with those people whom you hold grudges against, friends around you will also start walking away from you due to your negativity. 

You'll dwell on unhappiness.
If you are always comparing yourself to other people and trying to keep up with them, you will not be contented with your life. When you are not contented with your life, you will never feel a sense of peace in your soul. And when you have no peace within yourself, all the reasons to be happy seem harder to come by, and you simply feel grumpy and unhappy easily.

Resenting other people does absolutely no good to you.

If you want to be successful, work hard. Don't waste your time grumbling and discrediting other people's achievements.

Don't be jealous about other people's life. Always bear in mind that many people tend to only show their good side of life to others. You will never know what lurks beneath the surface of the "perfect" life they are trying to portray to the rest of the world. Who knows, you may easily have more than the people who are richer than you.

7 comments

  1. I believe each and every one is unique in its own way :) lets count our blessings for whatever the God has granted us so far

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  2. As a human being that I am, I fall into this trap of envy sometimes. There are many definitions of success and each person have their paths of achieving greatness.

    I'm a K-popper so I've read of anti-fans. They fall into the trap of being envious and jealous, just like you and me but their act is so horrendous, to the extend that they want to destroy celebrities' career.

    ReplyDelete
  3. With jealousy, if it's harmful, it will definitely lead to unhappiness. Some jealousy especially on other people's success can actually boost ourselves to achieve a better success. We'll I guess I'm old enough to say, friends come and go but family will last until the end of your day BUT some friends are better than family. As long as you are happy, don't let jealousy shapes your fate :)

    ReplyDelete
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