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THE LAST HUG.

I never knew so many things could happen within such a short period. 

The drastic change in my life made me wonder if my life is a sad Korean drama.

I have to admit that I'm a pretty emotional person. I cried over trivial things. And I am just going to shamelessly tell you all that I always can't hold my tears back when I watch Korean dramas because their parting scenes are always so heartbreaking. 

I guess I just can't deal with parting, this shit is crazy. It drives me nuts and affects me emotionally and mentally. 

Yet, I still chose the path that would eventually lead me to being apart with the one who would have to leave. I already saw it coming. I knew this all along. Yet, the heart wants what it wants. And, despite knowing all the consequences that I would have to bear, I still went with it. Sometimes, I regretted for making this decision.

But sometimes, I just felt like it's worth it anyway because I had a great time and built good memories with him...but time just flies mercilessly, especially when we are having a good time. And the day has to come. It's today. 

I told myself it's okay, and we will definitely meet again. I told myself that I can't shed a tear today. I must be the strong and independent girl that I always am. But before I leave my house, I grabbed a pack of tissues nonetheless because I already knew...

This morning, we had breakfast together. I tried to act as if I'm okay. But the more I try to convince myself to be okay, the more I feel like throwing up. My body is already reacting to it when my mind still tries to convince my heart that everything will be okay. 

Then, as we walked slowly to the train ticket counter, I realised that my tears were already rolling in my eyes. Every step felt heavy. We sat by the bench after he has got his train ticket and he held my face and asked me not to cry anymore.

10 minutes went by and he gave me a last hug before he had to leave. I wish I could fucking freeze time and tears just welled up in my eyes as my vision became more and more blurry. I wiped them away quickly, just to see his face clearly for one last time. 

And there, he passed through the gate and waved me goodbye.

I thought I would burst into fucking tears, and being all dramatic and screaming "kajima" and shit (just like how Korean dramas always show), but surprisingly I did not. I just walked away, back to where I came from..

I don't know how our future is going to be like. 

I don't know when we will meet again. 

But one thing I know for sure is that, I will keep all these good memories in my heart. 

I know it's not going to be easy...but I really wish the best for us. 

Till we meet again.









6 comments

  1. I was shocked when I came across the blog title while I was scrolling through Facebook and immediately read the contents. Coincidentally, I too went through the exact same thing today. Except he's boarding a plane not a train. Although it hurts like mad but I think the right thing to do is to be genuinely happy for him because he's pursuing something great in life. I hope you'll be able to wish him luck wholeheartedly soon and be happy too.

    Love,
    One of your loyal readers

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    Replies
    1. Haha! He was boarding the train to get to the airport actually. It really hurts and I couldn't hold back my tears. The selfish part of me wishes that he will stay, but I guess you are right, I should be happy for him and try our best to keep in touch. Thanks for the comment, it means so much to me. <3

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  2. Hi Jessica, my heart ache after reading this post. I believe that it won't be your last hug with him. You guys will definitely meet again and hug each other as long as you want ! Stay strong girl :)

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