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THE BIGGEST CHANGE OF MY 2017

I feel like every time I am about to write a "year end reflection" post, I always start by saying: 
Can you believe it? It's already the end of the year. 

Yea...can you believe it though? 2017 is going to end in no time. It has been a year full of ups and downs - a year that involved changes, a lot. 

The biggest change of my life this year has got to be my relationship
I got into a long distance relationship and a lot of you actually still don't really get where he is from haha.

How do we meet? Where is he from? 
 So, I met him during my internship. He was born and raised in Netherlands and that made him a Dutch Chinese. Why was he in Malaysia?? He came here for his internship as well and he is currently doing International Business, which explains why he interned in Malaysia haha. But, why specifically Malaysia? He told me Malaysia wasn't his first option at all, but somehow his friend told him about a job offer in the company that I was interning at, so he came. He joined the company earlier than I did; probably a few months earlier so we only met in January this year. 

Although I only met him this year, I feel like I have known him for ages. I feel like I can open up to him and talk to him about anything and he is definitely a good listener. He puts up with my temper a lot, and we have never really got into a serious argument before. 

What are your LDR struggles? 
So does that mean that we have no problem with our LDR? Well, we do have our LDR struggles. I struggled a lot when we first got into this relationship. I was insecure and uncertain (just like any other couples who are in a LDR), not about my feelings, but about our future. I wasn't confident about doing LDR at all because I didn't believe that it would work? The belief and perception that LDR has no perfect endings held me back at first and I didn't know what to do, but our feelings were so strong for each other and my boyfriend told me that he is ready to commit, so we decided to give it a shot. 

He left to Korea for his student exchange program in early February. I never knew that it can hit me so hard when he left, all of a sudden my heart just felt empty and heck, it took me a few weeks to feel better and "normal" again...I knew this path that we both chose is not going to be easy and until the time we get to be with each other permanently, there will still be many goodbyes. We have to go through the pain of being separated again each time our visit ends. And frankly speaking, sometimes, I even fear of our next meet-up because I just don't want to experience the same feeling of being separated again.



I visited him in Korea this year April when he was still studying there and we had an amazing time together. It was also my first trip of the year hehehe. When the trip ended and we had to be separated in the airport, it was just the worst feeling ever...

After going back to KL from Korea, I had to get my shit together and focus on my studies. I still remember how easily I burst into tears whenever I talked about leaving my boyfriend with my friends hahah. (I'm grateful for those friends who were there for me when I needed someone to talk to, thank you)


2 months later, we met again! He came to visit me in KL after he's done with his student exchange program in Korea. And we flew to Bangkok together for a short vacation! After Bangkok, he stayed in KL for a few days more before he flew back to Netherlands. Actually a few days before his actual departure, I could already feel the sadness kicking in lolol. I really hate myself for feeling that way every time but I couldn't help it. 

After he is back in his home country, we had to kinda rearrange our routine due to the difference in time zone. But to be honest, I feel like we both are dealing with it pretty well hahahaha. I can't believe I actually don't find time zone a bitch for our relationship. With 6 hours difference in time (now 7 because it's winter wtf), we both are definitely living in a different pace of life. When I wake up in the morning at 8am, it's his 1am. 

So how do we deal with the time zone difference? 
He would call me awake at my 8am and we would talk for an hour or so before he goes to sleep. 

Then I would go on with my day, and I would call him awake at my 4pm, which is his 9am. Then he would go to classes as I continue with my own activities for the rest of the day. 

At my 11pm (which is his 4pm), he would call me when he is free and we will just talk before I go to bed. And the routine continues. 

So that's how we manage to adjust and spend time with each other despite the difference in time zone hahaha. Sometimes I still get confused figuring out which of us is 7 hours ahead or behind each other but thankfully there's always the world clock thingy in my iPhone. 



After I'm done with my Bachelor Degree studies (hell yeah, I finally graduated!!), I had the opportunity to travel to a few countries (which I will recap in my next post) and I finally unlocked another achievement in my life, which is flying to another continent - EUROPE. 

There, we met again! So this year has actually been a really great year for our LDR, because we got to see each other every 2 to 3 months. I feel extremely grateful already. 

My thoughts on LDR? 
Honestly, I know there are a lot of fears of getting into a LDR, and it's completely normal to have fears. You fear of missing out, you fear of not being able to be there for him, you fear of the uncertainties in the future, you fear of your partner cheating on you. 

But, as long as there's trust, commitment and communication in a relationship, distance doesn't really matter. I have learned that it's important to open up and talk everything through in a relationship. If you have insecurities or doubts, you have to talk it out and let your partner know what you are thinking. This way, you both can understand each other more. At the same time, being in a LDR means you have to compromise, and think from your partner's perspective (actually this applies to relationships in general, not only LDR lol). 

Anyway, you just have to trust and follow your instincts. You can feel it if the person loves you or not and whether he is worth it or not. And if he is really the one, he won't make you question all the little things, instead he will make sure the things he do gives you trust, reassurance and confidence.

When you are with the right person, LDR is just not as bad as it seems (although I just want to close this gap asap). I always remind myself that the distance is only temporary, if we can go through this together, there's nothing else that can beat us. 

To my boyfriend, 
Thank you for coming into my life this year! Your existence has created such a huge impact in my life. Thank you for everything - your kindness, your trust, your commitment, your patience, etc. I will not trade you for anything, instead I will hold you until forever. Can't wait to see you again soon. ♥ 

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